Friday Walker and I were headed to the bank and we passed your building. “Don’t forget to say hi to your Mommy!” Walker reminded me as we drove by.
The Little Pie has gotten so much bigger and more mature. He’s got a real little boy body (skin and bones with impressively developed muscles) and a little boy personality. He loves the Power Rangers and all the Superheroes but to my dismay, he prefers the Marvel guys over those of DC. He will display his boyness by telling me how he is going to punch someone in the face or cut their head off while only moments later, he demonstrates his mushy center by finding boxes to lovingly make comfy beds for his favorite stuffies.
I’ll admit I had my doubts about being a mom to a boy. I figured it would be like learning a foreign language without any instruction. I thought all boys were the same — crazy-full of energy and testosterone, mud-loving devils destined to destroy your house, your willpower and your peace of mind. I thought about all the quiet times you and I had together, snuggling up in bed and warming feet under the covers and figured it was never to be.
I’m sure you know how silly this all sounds now. Kids are all different and it’s not fair for me to have even considered gender-profiling. Walker is kind and balanced and (relatively) quiet and snuggly and thoughtful. He is the perfect combination of me and Larry and has managed to transform our house into something so much more than I ever thought possible.
Our kitty, Raow, would not be what you call an affectionate cat. In fact, she bites. But despite the fact that Walker spends a great deal of time yelling “No RAOW!” because she’s after his food or wants to play with his toys or is hunting his cute little feet, he loves her with all his heart and is so thrilled when they are both peaceful enough for a short pet or a quick kiss.
My mother’s day was fantastic. Walker has been sleeping in his big boy bed (which he named Fort Hideout) all by himself. He’s so proud that he can sleep in the loft under his tent of stars all night. But last night, he requested to sleep with me for Mother’s Day. It was THE BEST present. The two of us curled up in the twin bed and he put his feet between my legs as I used to do with you. His head rested on my arm and we both drifted off. In the middle of the night, Walker woke up, rolled over and gave me a great big hug. Cheek to cheek he whispered, “Hey Mommy. I love you.” And we drifted off again.
The snuggles didn’t come without some drama. I fell off my bike twice this week. Twice. On the same day. In the same intersection. Yes, I am still coordinated. It wasn’t my fault. Really. I’ll be safe, I promise. Anyway, I have skinned and bruised knees. And for some reason, Walker seems to kick them or sit on them. A LOT. I know you had your down times but I don’t remember it getting to you. So I wince, I may let out a bit of an “OW!” but I power on, sitting criss cross applesauce (or close to it) on the floor or crawl to into Fort Hideout for stories.
This morning I was treated to a wonderful surprise of presents, breakfast in bed, and some additional snuggling accompanied by a few episodes of Walker’s favorite show MAX AND RUBY. We headed out to a birthday party and back for a nap. (We both slept snuggled up Mother’s Day style.) I built him a fort out of oversized Tinker Toys where he had his dinner and played on the computer. I will say, he is still very much a BOY as he decided glue his legs together with a bit of his snot. It was certainly a creative means to an end but we did promptly wipe it off.
Bath time came along and I made my third attempt at removing the “tiger stripes” he made all over his arms and legs with black and orange markers. That was three days ago. They had painted some stipes on him at school which we washed off. Before he was even dry, he grabbed his pens and started making his own stripes. “Don’t do it!” I said as he looked at me daring me to say something more. “Don’t do it or I’ll…” and then I thought, “I got nothin’ I’m willing to punish him with for this.” So I’m that mom who let her kid go to school with self-designed tiger stripes. I figure he should get it out of his system now before he wants to do something more permanent.
Walker was playing with his guys in the bath tonight when he requested I let down my “mommy hair” (he still has a strong preference for my hair in a pony tail) so he could brush it. After knotting it fairly well, he decided to wash it carefully with soap. He was not as careful about getting the soap OUT but I’ll give him a pass.
We are so proud of him. He is everything we could want in a child and I know he will continue to be our bright light. He makes us want to be the best people we possibly can. Larry and I have a parenting style that is different than many of our friends and family. There are people who don’t understand some of the decisions we’ve made or our approach to certain situations. But you taught me each family is different. I trust my intuition and we have the opportunity to tailor our parenting to Walker’s needs. On days like this I reflect on the past and present and I am 100% certain Walker is getting what he needs to grow into a confident, self-reliant, thoughtful and wise young man. You gave me the courage to do what I believe.
I love you.